If this makes me an old, bitchy guy, so be it. How long do you need your keychain to be? Oh, wait, that's not a keychain. It's a fucking lanyard! Nothing says 'I'm a douche' more than 24 inches of lanyard sticking out of your pocket. Not only does it say, 'I'm a Chargers fan with keys,' but it also says 'I'm a Chargers fan whose keych... err... lanyard doubles as an autoerotic asphyxiation tool.' Hell, you could probably walk your dog with it, too, it's so damn long.